Music Journalist, Singer-Songwriter, Country/Pop Extraordinaire.

 

Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

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(Source: beautilation)

osamah:

vaporheart-archive:

Oh these pies aren’t homemade, they were made in a factory.
A bomb factory.
They’re bombs.

who the fuck thought up the plot for this episode

osamah:

vaporheart-archive:

Oh these pies aren’t homemade, they were made in a factory.

A bomb factory.

They’re bombs.

who the fuck thought up the plot for this episode

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

I have a really hot waiter.

Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.

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wanna know what these all say?

"suck his dick"

(Source: racingbarakarts)